Life as a play....,

In my last blog I presented a view of life as compared to solving a maze. A series of choices and decisions that should ultimately lead us to grow and improve. The main point of that blog was of course to demonstrate how easy it is for us to create limitations in our lives by closing doors and turning thoughts into facts. Believing what we perceive "at a certain point", to be true without accepting that we may do better to realise that a belief is not necessarily a truth and that our perception or point of view can change.

Recently I over heard, in a period of 24 hours three conversation or comments that got me thinking.

The first was a couple in a park. She was obviously upset. Although I have no idea about the discussion, as I passed I heard her say "well you could have at least acted like you cared".

Later the same day I heard a mother say to her daughter, "will you act your age" and at the end of the day in the work place a supervisor telling her staff to "act busy" when the boss was around.

So it brought to mind the analogy that we do live considerable moments of our lives acting out a "part" in the world. If you take the time to think about the way you present yourself to the world, could you say that in a lot of ways we are conforming or fitting in to what is already in place ? By that I mean the way we groom ourselves, the way we dress, the way we speak, the kind of entertainment we choose, as well as the way we work and why we chose our careers, religions etc. The established system then influences, but also limits our view of who we can be and how we should express ourselves to succeed in the "performance" of living.

So lets compare expressing life with acting and see how it looks.

It is hard to imagine how life could look if we had no background or benchmarks to contrast our lifes expression against. If every human being lived independently of the others with no concept of how someone else expresses life, would our thinking change ?

Would a totally blank canvas be a benefit or a hindrance ?

Put in another way, what if we had no audience ? Then we would have no need to act. We could simply be.

While I agree that a hypothetical situation like that would not be feasible or favourable for humanity in many ways, the important point of looking into the fact that we do have an endless number of critics and observers to impress every day shouldn't be overlooked. Is it in our best interests to become driven or controlled by the expectations of our audience to the point where we live for their favourable reviews. In fact that may be at the core of a great deal of our disharmony.

Lets think about what makes us, us. Why do we present as we do.

From a physical point of view we rely on our senses to provide us with the inputs we need to navigate our world. Simply put we cannot do without them and live a "normal" life. They help to keep us safe, warn us of danger, prompt us to keep ourselves healthy as well as providing pleasure. They are fairly rigid and not really things we can effect. For example if I put my hand in a fire it will hurt and will destroy the tissue. That is unavoidable and not flexible. So our sensory limitations are a part of what helps us experience life as we do, they are necessary and important.

But there also more abstract inputs. For example our beliefs, emotions and feelings. They have a huge effect on how we act and they steer us towards finding comfort, stability, acceptance and "normality". They are also much more flexible and plastic than the physical inputs. How important and how necessary it is to accept them is more open to debate.

When we look at what motivates our thinking, we find that so much of what we do and how we behave comes from our interpretation of a predetermined “life template”.

It comes through our absorption of inputs both sensory ie. we watched, heard, saw, felt, smelled things which are "external" inputs or, we take things on board through our processing of ideologies. The thoughts and beliefs of others. This gives us a template. While we don’t have a say in how we perceive inputs via our physical senses, our thoughts and beliefs are our choices.

When we take on board accepted and established ways of thinking that we have noticed and accepted in others, we become reflections of that. It was already there. Then we take it on board and reflect it outwardly in our lives and a cycle is born. A cycle is simply a repetition and recurrence of the same thing. In other words it is a closed system. Of course some of these ideologies will be beneficial, but some may not. Are we prepared to look deeper into why we accept them in order to define ourselves.

If we think of how different cultures or religions view things we get glimpse of how that plays out.

In India for instance in Hinduism, the belief that the cow is representative of divine and natural beneficence and should therefore be protected and venerated is common accepted and taught and reflected.

Also in India the Cobra is sacred. Nag Panchami, the festival of snakes, is a Hindu festival dedicated to the worship of snakes and serpent deities. That is taught accepted and reflected by many.

So in India for a great deal of people, seeing a cow in the main street or a cobra in the garden is perceived very differently than the same situation in a different culture where the status of cows and snakes is taught, accepted and then reflected in a very different way.

So, the net effect is that people will "act"in a certain way because they want to reflect what they believe to be an enhancement of who they are in the eyes of others.

The event is identical but the connotations and perceptions are very different. The question then is which is right and which is wrong ? The answer of course is neither.

So take away the input, ie. that cows and snakes are somehow significant, and it is unlikely that individuals without that prior conditioning would reach that conclusion about them.

Combined, all the inputs we experience should help us to live "normal" lives.

But we might be better served by substituting the term "normal" life with the term "expected" life.

Is what we expect normal ?

It may be familiar and feel safe but potentially it could be distracting, and that our "normal" is very limiting.

So our senses provide valuable and necessary inputs. Our interpretation of the inputs though can be either uplifting and positive or negative and limiting.

So much pressure in life comes not by what we sense but how we then interpret or judge the input. We are also prompted to keep our interpretations within the accepted "plot" of the existing life template we are mirroring. If we take away the input the interpretation will also disappear.

So, the analogy of life as a play.

Could we say that for most of us we take our lead in life for the most part by forming an opinion of how we want to be seen. To be seen involves an audience. So we look at fashion or trends to help us decide. We listen to the media, influencers, bloggers, we observe celebrities and others who we feel exhibit success beauty, intelligence etc. We prefer certain lifestyle choices based on how we see others expressing life. We take note of how others perceive the things we are drawn towards, looking for approval, we join groups, fan clubs etc. which help us feel supported in our choices and then we mix it all together and come up with a version of ourselves that we feel will be popular and accepted and then we start to act the part. We may do well, but it is worth keeping in mind that we rarely look outside of what is already there.

If others approve of our character they may take on board some of our attributes and add them to their own character. If we are not well received we will try to reinvent our character hoping to get the recipe right.

In a play actors are chosen because they already have some of the characteristics that the producer feels will match his perception of the character he is trying to bring to life. He will then work with the actor to create his vision. There will be a script to follow, a look to achieve, a myriad of personal attributes and personality traits that come together to reach a point where the character has become the person that the director imagined. A good actor and a good producer working with a good script will make that happen.

The actor is now not him or herself but an image of someone elses idea.

In daily life, the way you dress, or wear your hair. The car you drive the work you choose, the friends you keep your political leaning, the way you speak virtually everything you do to express yourself has some connection to what you have been exposed to and or subliminally steered towards. Almost always you will have seen these things in someone else and decided to take them onboard often without giving it any thought or even realising that we do it.

While it is not a problem to like something that is not original and that in itself can create harmony and belonging, I think it is important to recognise how easily we give up the option to be different. The word different can be substituted by the word unique and that can often cause conflict within. To be unique requires a degree of strength or self belief. In being unique you are putting yourself out there for more intense scrutiny. You are choosing to be the black sheep. For many it is uncomfortable. But that in itself may also be because we have taken on the belief that to conform and tow the line is the best policy for acceptance and success and happiness. So we deny the fact that we actually have no choice in the fact that underneath our outward expression of life we are without doubt completely unique.

I often look at children to get a view of what it is to express life without the adult concepts and beliefs that can mould our thinking. Watch how they express themselves. They will wear whatever they feel comfortable in. They will say what they feel or think, they will openly interact with others regardless of age, gender, or race. They have no desire to create any more of themselves other than that which they already are. Humans being.

As they grow that open minded free-thinking is slowly questioned until for the first time they experience embarrassment, ridicule and judgement based not on who they are but on how they are. The way they choose to express life will be judged and they will be valued or devalued based on their performance. They then learn to mirror those behaviours that reduce their vulnerability and the closed cycle begins.

The underlying purpose of this discussion is simply to realise that very few of us are truly expressing ourselves through life. It is more accurate to say that we all to some degree act a part.

We feel the need to create the right impression and we take on behaviours and express our lives within the parameters that we have learned to be “safe" because we see others doing the same thing.

The problem I believe is not that we do that to some degree, but that we do it without thought and in everything that we are. In other words we lose ourselves in amongst the character we hide behind and the characters we bring to life are all very similar.

We hide our individuality and live as play actors. We lose site of the fact that we are and should be unique. We are the only life forms that exist with the ability to think about our reality but we are afraid of the consequences. We risk becoming method actors who have forgotten who they were.

It is a problem because it reduces our life expression to fit into a set of parameters defined by someone elses' notion of what life should be. Exacerbated by the fact that the notion as it is presented fails to address who we really are.

In other words we act a part in life by copying another actor where no-one has a script, a storyline, or any idea of what the story or play of life is actually about.

We are all performers in the play of life.

There is no script, no storyline and no director.

So we "act" a part based on how we see others "act" theirs.

Therefore we are all a supporting cast in a play with no lead

So afraid to write our own role that we limit our performance to reflect the other "actors" around us

No one can write your part better than you,

be the director..,

and play the lead…,

in a story about you.